Annual Report on School Safety--October 1998

A r c h i v e d  I n f o r m a t i o n

2: What Communities Can Do Through Collaboration (cont'd)

What Parents Can Do

1. Actively communicate with children.

Communication is an essential component of child-rearing and a constant challenge. Being available and being approachable are as important as having the right answer to a question or providing the best guidance with a problem. Consistency, honesty, and understanding are critical. Talking with children shows that they are cared about; gives them an opportunity to share their concerns, interests, fears, and activities; and provides ideas about aspects of their school and personal lives that can be improved. Everyday conversations also create natural opportunities for teaching children social skills, anger management, problem-solving skills, and ways to avoid becoming victims.

2. Be clear and consistent in disciplining children.

When establishing rules for children, it is important for parents to communicate their views on crime, violence, weapons, and appropriate self-defense. Children also need to know that parents support school discipline policies and any reasonable punishments that are administered by the school. Children should understand the rationale for household, school, and other rules and behavioral expectations.

If a child misbehaves, punishments may be more effective if they are consistent and appropriate to the severity and frequency of the offense and administered with a gentle voice and with full explanation.

Discipline means more than punishment. Involving children in activities that teach constructive skills such as responsibility, appropriate play behavior, self-control, and goal-setting is as important as sanctioning them for inappropriate behavior. Parents can devise rewards and incentives for good behavior to prevent future rule violations and to urge constructive behaviors.

3. Model prosocial behavior.

One of the best ways to teach a child is by demonstration. Through their everyday actions, parents teach their children how to interact socially, handle competition and defeat, discuss differences, resolve conflicts, deal with frustration in solving problems, and cope with stress and anger, among other skills. Children also learn from the other adults in their lives and may need help understanding different behavior responses to similar challenges. Children's inevitable exposure to negative influences makes the parent's role as a model of behavior even more important.

4. Get involved with school and community organizations and activities.

Becoming active in the child's school and community life brings many benefits. It provides parents the opportunity to see more of what the child sees, therefore gaining a deeper understanding of the child's needs. Situations arise that present opportunities for reinforcing what is taught in the home. The presence of parents provides continuity for the student in moving from one setting to another. Being involved also gives parents an opportunity to get to know teachers, childcare providers, and coaches, among others, and to work with them to ensure that the child's needs are met when parents are not present.

Here are a few examples of what parents can do in the school and community to promote good behavior and to make the most of learning opportunities:

5. Keep guns and other weapons out of reach of unsupervised children.

If guns or other weapons are kept in or around the house, it is critical that they be locked away and completely inaccessible to unsupervised children and adolescents. Guns should be stored unloaded whenever feasible, with ammunition locked in a separate place. Firearms are not play things, but children may view them as such unless they are taught to handle and use them responsibly or to avoid them entirely.

Several cities and States have passed laws that make gun owners responsible for storing firearms in a manner that makes them inaccessible to children. If an unsupervised minor is found with a gun, the owner may be charged with a felony or a misdemeanor.

6. Limit children's exposure to and experience of crime and violence.

Limiting a child's exposure to crime and violence is a difficult but important task for every parent. Children are exposed to both real and simulated depictions of violence and other crime in many ways. They find it on television, in movies, in newspapers, on the radio, on the Internet, in plays, in neighborhoods, in homes, in schools, at athletic events, in video games, in music, on the road, and in many other places.

Some children do not fully understand or successfully cope with their exposure to crime and violence. Because of frequent and unrealistic media depictions, they may think that violent events are more common than they really are. They may not fully appreciate the true consequences of violent behaviors. As a result, children pretend to be violent in their play with little harm, yet when they become frustrated or angry, these behaviors may take a more serious form in some children.


7. Participate in family management training or counseling opportunities.

Participating in formal training programs in family management is a good way to get extra help. While family counseling is an appropriate option for some, others benefit from less structured assistance. Specific skills can be learned to reduce the stress and challenges of raising children, including problem-solving, communication, coping with anger and stress, and conflict mediation. Training is often available through the school or faith communities or in the broader community. Seeking help from friends or family members who are experienced parents is another way to better meet the needs of children.


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